If you were in the middle of a supernova you would feel immense forces at intense speed, enough to rip you apart to molecules,... but to watch it from another part of the galaxy it's all just pretty colours and amazing clouds of spacedust, almost a relaxing, calming thing to behold.
Perspective and Perception are key forces in our lives. They are anchor lines and pivot joints to our existence, and I've been taking a lot more notice of them this year so far. Things are morphing like f*c# and we all have to keep up, assess and align with it or we will feel absolutely overwhelmed. I can feel it coming, can you?
The world is shifting. It's obvious even though we may be feeling like we've got it all 'in process', that's just a delusion, yet not a dilemma. Since March this year my life has been in flux. I can pinpoint it to the Feng Shui New Year on Feb 5, but it really got rolling by the March Equinox. That's when my Dad was put in hospital. That had been simmering for a month or so. What I have learned and what has been revealed since then has been astounding. Astounding in the sense that I consider myself an attentive person. Awake. Aware. Conscious. Connected. But when life is so busy, and we feel pulled in all directions, our innate senses are naturally stifled or distracted away from Purpose.
I have considered, since then, my role in all of what has happened, and the consequences of what I've put into action too. It could all be swept up neatly into a pile of 'I did what I had to do considering the circumstances', but I could have chosen to do things differently. To not be a player in this game. But the consequences to that would have been the very likely event of my father dying of a heart attack in March, my mother being left a widow. However, the actual events that were happening were congruently just as bad. Dad surviving and continuing to need the high level of care my ageing Mum could not provide. Us, as in 'the family', continuing to bow to our his request to stay at home and be cared for. The consequence? By August Mum was hospitalised for exhaustion and a bleeding stomach ulcer, which none of use knew about, not even her, because she'd been too busy to visit the doctor and was incapable of asking for help for herself. "FUUUU-UUU-UUUU-UUCK." ((((violent scream into the ethers)))) The realisation? Patriarchal power is prevalent and so much bullshit comes with it.
Release that crap and embrace Fraternity. We are all important regardless of age, gender or other.
Should I have done what my conscience was screaming at me to do that afternoon in March? to "run away. run away now". Instead I stayed and rang the Paramedics with Mum (she was too afraid to ring them herself because Dad would get angry with her... ). Life is so precious people. It's precious for everyone. I chose that afternoon to be a part of the opportunity to prolong his life. In doing so I caused a chain reaction that affected my Mother's health so badly that it injured her. I've been dealing with the guilt-hero bullshit complex ever since. I know I could not have done anything else other than what I did. I could not have consciously walked away.
We've all dealt with (my siblings and extended family) the fallout from this atomic situation. We've all cried enough, anguished enough, been angry, resentful, concerned and confused. We're all 'done'. but life goes on. This man who is my father smiles and laughs and brings as much joy as he does frustration and hurt. He's a human like me. We're all bound to piss someone off enough to make them hate us for a while...hopefully we're also good enough people to have them forgive us too. With every confrontation (and I avoid confrontation) I learn more. It's my 'rake in the garden' that I continually step on and get whacked in the face by. I stand there, metaphorically stunned for some moments, muttering "well I wasn't expecting that" and then examine the space carefully for any other hidden attacks before moving on. I deal with it. We all 'deal with it'. That's life as we know it.
And we would not know clarity without going through confusion.
Love without isolation.
Health, without sickness.
Peace without anguish.
Happiness without hurt. etc.
If we don't 'go through it' we won't reach 'the other side'.
So in closing...if you are a Parent or Carer, Guardian or Helper, and you are in overwhelm, ... ask for assistance. Just a small step. Do ask. Do mention your state of mind, it's nothing to be ashamed of or to hide. Even the person you are caring for needs to know you're about to burn out. They especially need the situation to be clarified because they are depending on your help. You are as important as the person you are caring for.
And, if you have an elderly parent, find the time or a trusted person, to go to a health appointment with them. Had I done this earlier I would have been able to see that my father's doctor was absolutely unsuitable for him, and maybe, we could have arranged things differently. We've since found out that some of my Dad's medication was almost 3 times the amount he actually needed...no wonder he was off his nut most of the time. High as a friggin kite, and we put it down to 'just the medication' or conversely 'isn't he tired today'...and we accepted all of his excuses and reasonings as to 'why' this or that was happening.
There is so much to learn in this life, so don't beat yourself up that you don't know it all right now. It will come. Knowledge is accumulative and inherent. We all know it already and we're remembering constantly.
I have been able to find relief and progression using lots of natural remedies and holistic therapies. One of the most 'grabable' are the flower essences. I use Bach Flower Essences mostly and sometimes an Australian Bush Flower Essence or Crystal Essence blend in drops or as an Essence Mist with aromatic ingredients. These are subtle healing helpers, aligning you with your Higher Self and the inherent knowledge we all possess to get through life and beyond.